Meghan Markle was a picture of royalty. But beneath the photo finish, she ‘didn’t want to be alive’

Wrapped in a sequin gown, the sixth in line to the British throne by her side, Meghan Markle was every bit the picture of royalty.

Surrounded by revellers at Royal Albert Hall, the royal couple’s public appearance for the premier of Cirque du Soleil’s Totem show was billed by the tabloids as a “glamorous date night”, as Harry and Meghan — then six-months pregnant — prepared to welcome their first child, Archie, in the spring.

But beneath the photo finish, a much darker narrative was playing out. Far from the magical evening portrayed in the headlines, Markle “didn’t want to be alive”.

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“One of the things that — it still haunts me — is this photograph that someone had sent me,” Markle said of the event, during the couple’s