Accusations fly, conspiracies flower, as heartbroken professional surf fans attempt to make sense of Pipeline’s suspension: “Kelly Slater’s unorthodox board choices was the only thing keeping me from the blackest despair!” – BeachGrit

“I am feeling well and experiencing only mild symptoms.”
Let’s play make believe. Imagine you are the CEO of professional surfing, an Oklahoman by way of Oprah who bounded in filled with exuberance, grasping an unparalleled corpo-speak handbook and SUP oar, ready to finally but finally make the Pastime of Kings profitable and/or widely accepted by Middle America.
Imagine the various difficulties in the learning curve. An intransigent grumpy local core, Kelly Slater, Hawaiians, co-Waterperson of…

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