Longboards are faster than shortboards

By Phil Jarratt

Breaking news: longboards are faster than shortboards, according to an authoritative new velocity study. Remember you read it here first.

Well, maybe second, since your columnist pilfered it from Tracksmag.com.au, the on-line version of Australia’s most popular surf magazine, which gave him his start almost 50 years ago. From which it is therefore okay to occasionally nick stuff, as long as he seeks permission from the authors, or in this case, from their dad, since Jonah and Lily Johnson are kids, more or less.

But very smart ones, as it turns out, who have at last delved deeply enough into the dark sciences of physics and statistics to come up with the incontrovertible evidence of what we mal riders…